So, our baby girl got spayed today. I may or may not have felt like the worst mother in the world when she got in the car to go to the vet, all excited, whole body wagging, and I knew exactly what she was headed for.
Something like this.
Now she is back home with us and all kinds of doped up. The dog that normally decides it is time to run sprints around the house with a piece of my underwear in her mouth has spent all afternoon sprawled on a couch with a blanket over her. Every now and then, she will muster the energy to slowly lift her head, thump her tail a few times, and bestow a few licks upon our faces before dropping her head back down.
Layla's approximate state of mind right now.
Reflecting on my dubious mothering skills with my puppy has lead me to imagine my (probably superlative) future skills as a mother to a human. Now, I'm still not entirely sure that I absolutely am going to have this hypothetical future child, but, you know. Just pep-talking myself beforehand. So, now I enter into my skills as a mother, as discovered by my skills as a puppy-mother:
Teamwork: One of the most important parts of successful puppy-parenthood is teamwork. I need to be able to work with Tyler when it comes to taking care of the baby. Most often, this means telling him that if our furry child bites me one more time, I am going to become a creepy she-hulk. Then I leave him to play with Bitey McShark and I got sit upstairs and watch stupid television on my computer. Just one fine example of my excellent mothering skills.
This...this ended up being less inspiring than I intended.
Medicating: Specifically, self-medicating. Sometimes, having a baby stresses you out. The need for constant attention, the destruction of things, the adorable, but occasionally painful bouts of scratchy and nippy affection...it can all add up to some stressful moments. Fortunately, I have prescribed for myself a steady regimen of baked goods (heavy on the chocolate), mixed drinks, and hot chocolate (also heavy on the chocolate)...(and cinnamon. It's delicious).
Pretty much like this. But in sweats. And without a vacuum. And not a model.
Whining: ...okay, maybe this is not a stellar example. But I still do it sometimes. O well.
Affection: This is not even hard to do, because even though she can be a handful, she is an adorable, furry, loving handful. Every time she sees that I am mad, her reaction is to put her ears flat back against her head, cocks it to the side, looks at me all lovingly with her enormous puppy eyes, and wags her whole body at me (the tail is never sufficient) while covering every available part of me in puppy kisses. How do you stay mad at that? Answer: you don't. Not possible to stay mad at your adorable child.
I defy anyone to be angry at this face.
Puppies: exhausting and crazy, but probably the most wonderful fluffy balls of unconditional love in existence. Thanks for making life great, sleepy dog. I'll let you destroy some socks later as penance for sending you to the vet.
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