...but it turns out getting older makes me old.
Yeah, yeah, I know I am not actually old. I just have been hit by the startling and strange revelation that some parts of my childhood are never-heard-of to kids as old as middle school now. It's strange. I am part of the "young folk", but not part of the "really young folk". I am considered an adult by those small folk. This is odd. And vaguely unsettling.
This was brought on by the discovery of a shoebox in my old room full of "mixed" cassette tapes from my youth (that is, into mid high-school). These tapes were laboriously made by my sisters and I by either holding a cassette recorder up to the radio speakers when a good song came on or by selecting individual songs from our compiled cds and pressing "record" on the cassette player in my stereo at exactly the right time. We listened to those mix tapes with ridiculous pride for years. I realize how sad that is now because, well, we were children and had terrible taste in music.
I have great memories of making those tapes, but I realized that most kids nowadays have absolutely nothing to do with cassettes. Their "mix tapes" are playlists now. If I get lucky I will find a kid that still makes mix cds. I used cassettes. I am ancient.
I also am getting all set in my musical ways. I know what I like and I am fine with saying what I don't like. I don't listen to screaming music any more. I have stopped pretending that I will like country. I am sick to death of all that punk/rock and pop/punk I used to listen to. I like classic rock. I like folk. I like jazz. I like bluegrass. I like some indie stuff. And I think most rappers are imbeciles. Someday, perhaps even someday soon, smal children will say I listen to old-people music. I will need to be ok with that.
I don't like to stay up all night anymore. I will do it every once and a while and I will even stay up late sometimes. But joining the ranks of the employed-at-an-office has forced me to get up early-ish. This requires me to go to bed earlier or I cease to function. Yes, I am lame. But I am also making money. This is good for that whole pay-bills-and-buy-food thing I was going for.
I think I need to write a Murtaugh list. And maybe combine it with a list of things I am too young for. Then maybe I can figure out what I am supposed to be doing at my age. It has been a mystery to me up to this point.
I am too old for:
- taking long unpaid internships instead of a real job.
-wearing anything that makes me look like I am about to pull a skateboard out of my backpack.
-getting a facial piercing.
-going for days at a time without six consecutive hours of sleep.
-subsisting on a diet of foods entirely covered in cheese or frosting.
-wearing any form of body glitter.
-dying my hair any color not found in nature
I am too young for:
-paying for hotels if there is a couch, futon, or apartment floor I can sleep on instead.
-going to bed before midnight on weekends.
-eating things like bran and wheat germ consistently.
-drinking only expensive beers.
-settling down in one place permanently.
-talking about the state of my bowels. seriously, no one wants to hear about that. ever.
O, this will be added to. Throw me more things that we, collectively, are either too young for or too old for.
Off to that job. I'm too young for this office stuff.
2.01.2011
WAR! What is it good for...
...'cause I'm still unclear.
And I mean that in a serious way, not a "damn all war to heck" kind of way but more a serious "does war actually help things" kind of way.
And I'm unclear.
Based on a great deal of thought, consideration, reading, and questioning brought on by my own nature, my major, and probably a mix of my season of life and the political climate we live in, I became a complete pacifist in college. "Complete" here is less a descriptive term and more a definition of the type of pacifist I am. I am pro-life in a universal sense. I think abortion is a tragedy, but I think that the death penalty is just as great a tragedy. I think any time we kill another human being it is a profoundly serious thing that we should never take lightly and never look at with anything other than sorrow. And I also think it is wrong, morally wrong, to kill another human being.
I believe that war falls under this category. I believe it is wrong to kill even our enemies. They are human beings as well.
However, there is a problem here.
What happens when one wrong, like intentionally killing another human being, comes up against another wrong, like trying to wipe out a culture? How can I say it is wrong to use force to stop a genocide? How can I say it is wrong to use force to defend a country or people who are being taken over? How can it be wrong to kill in order to keep your family alive?
Much as I hate it, this isn't exactly black and white.
This recent bout of reflections on the practicality of pacifism was brought about because Tyler and I have been watching Band of Brothers. I have never seen the show before and I find myself impressed with their portrayal of the humanity of the soldiers, the horror of battle, the shock and devastation of watching your friends die around you, and the painful mix of pride and shame, duty and horror that come whenever forced to kill an enemy. I understand the need to dehumanize, to think in simple terms, stark definitions: ally and enemy, friend and foe. A soldier would go mad without this distinction.
I also recognize the incredible sacrifice made by each serviceman. The willingness to die to defend one's country, the conflict and trauma that they suffer through should they survive, and the deep sense of honour and duty that each possess is admirable and deserving of respect. We should be grateful and proud of those who serve. And I am.
But seeing these horrible things enforces even more in my mind the idea that the ultimate goal should be the end of all wars. I think after seeing the horror of death all around, servicemen would say that they wish there was no more war.
My particular form of pacifism does not advocate peace and lack of conflict because I am weak or too soft to stomach the fact that sometimes negotiation and diplomacy will not work. I know that Rwanda required intervention. I agree that ending the Holocaust required action. But being aware that diplomacy and peaceful protests do not always work does not mean they shouldn't be tried. If there is any way to solve a conflict without bloodshed, shouldn't we try that first?
I know, I know. I sound stupidly naive. "The end of all wars" does not seem like a realistic option. And maybe it's not. But peaceful change is not impossible. Martin Luther King Jr. made huge steps towards equality and justice through non-violent actions. Ghandi helped to liberate a country through non-violence. OTPOR sent a murderous dictator out of office using peaceful protests. Good things can happen and, I hope, will continue to happen through non-violence.
I am not saying wars have never been necessary. And I also do not agree with St. Augustine that there is the possibility of a "holy war" that can be performed in a completely justified, God-sanctioned way. I think his criteria for a "holy war" is impossible.
What I am saying is that we should look at war as a bad thing. Occasionally, maybe it is a necessary evil, but we should not lightly consider war or propose it as a first solution to conflict. We should never look at it as an easy way to get what we want or use it in aggression. We should respect all those who go to war and pray that there will come a time when their sacrifice is no longer necessary. We should hope that someday we will no longer have to face the pain of sending those we love off to die far from home. We should remember that those we send and those we fight are all people with hopes, fears, dreams, and families.
Here's to a better future.
And I mean that in a serious way, not a "damn all war to heck" kind of way but more a serious "does war actually help things" kind of way.
And I'm unclear.
Based on a great deal of thought, consideration, reading, and questioning brought on by my own nature, my major, and probably a mix of my season of life and the political climate we live in, I became a complete pacifist in college. "Complete" here is less a descriptive term and more a definition of the type of pacifist I am. I am pro-life in a universal sense. I think abortion is a tragedy, but I think that the death penalty is just as great a tragedy. I think any time we kill another human being it is a profoundly serious thing that we should never take lightly and never look at with anything other than sorrow. And I also think it is wrong, morally wrong, to kill another human being.
I believe that war falls under this category. I believe it is wrong to kill even our enemies. They are human beings as well.
However, there is a problem here.
What happens when one wrong, like intentionally killing another human being, comes up against another wrong, like trying to wipe out a culture? How can I say it is wrong to use force to stop a genocide? How can I say it is wrong to use force to defend a country or people who are being taken over? How can it be wrong to kill in order to keep your family alive?
Much as I hate it, this isn't exactly black and white.
This recent bout of reflections on the practicality of pacifism was brought about because Tyler and I have been watching Band of Brothers. I have never seen the show before and I find myself impressed with their portrayal of the humanity of the soldiers, the horror of battle, the shock and devastation of watching your friends die around you, and the painful mix of pride and shame, duty and horror that come whenever forced to kill an enemy. I understand the need to dehumanize, to think in simple terms, stark definitions: ally and enemy, friend and foe. A soldier would go mad without this distinction.
I also recognize the incredible sacrifice made by each serviceman. The willingness to die to defend one's country, the conflict and trauma that they suffer through should they survive, and the deep sense of honour and duty that each possess is admirable and deserving of respect. We should be grateful and proud of those who serve. And I am.
But seeing these horrible things enforces even more in my mind the idea that the ultimate goal should be the end of all wars. I think after seeing the horror of death all around, servicemen would say that they wish there was no more war.
My particular form of pacifism does not advocate peace and lack of conflict because I am weak or too soft to stomach the fact that sometimes negotiation and diplomacy will not work. I know that Rwanda required intervention. I agree that ending the Holocaust required action. But being aware that diplomacy and peaceful protests do not always work does not mean they shouldn't be tried. If there is any way to solve a conflict without bloodshed, shouldn't we try that first?
I know, I know. I sound stupidly naive. "The end of all wars" does not seem like a realistic option. And maybe it's not. But peaceful change is not impossible. Martin Luther King Jr. made huge steps towards equality and justice through non-violent actions. Ghandi helped to liberate a country through non-violence. OTPOR sent a murderous dictator out of office using peaceful protests. Good things can happen and, I hope, will continue to happen through non-violence.
I am not saying wars have never been necessary. And I also do not agree with St. Augustine that there is the possibility of a "holy war" that can be performed in a completely justified, God-sanctioned way. I think his criteria for a "holy war" is impossible.
What I am saying is that we should look at war as a bad thing. Occasionally, maybe it is a necessary evil, but we should not lightly consider war or propose it as a first solution to conflict. We should never look at it as an easy way to get what we want or use it in aggression. We should respect all those who go to war and pray that there will come a time when their sacrifice is no longer necessary. We should hope that someday we will no longer have to face the pain of sending those we love off to die far from home. We should remember that those we send and those we fight are all people with hopes, fears, dreams, and families.
Here's to a better future.
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