If you know me, dear reader, you will know that I like music. I like it a lot. And now, in the age of technology, I get to enjoy the videos to go along with all of my favorite songs. Some of them are artistic and well-thought-out, some are pretentious, some are silly, and some are just several shades of strange.
Today, I am listing some of my most-watched music videos and the reasons why. And believe me, there are reasons.
The first is a silly and entertaining song. The music video to it can best be described as a renaissance fair on some bad form of acid. Here is the "safety dance" by men without hats.
I would like to point out some of the awesomeness. Observe the midget who dances along throughout the entire song. Observe our singer's strange interactions with said midget at 0:23. Observe the facial expressions on the hippie-girl at 0:40 which clearly demonstrate that she is suffering some kind of facial seizure (no doubt a side effect of some bad crack). Observe our singer's overly-serious facial expressions at 1:06. And the dance itself, demonstrated at 1:18 and continuing onward, seems to be some extremely aggressive mutation of the classic fourth position in ballet. Always entertaining.
Next comes the totally freaky "Total Eclipse of the Heart". For your viewing pleasure, I have included both the original version and the literal version of this ode to creepiness. I highly recommend the second one.
I don't even know what all to hit on here. What about how we see at the end of the video that she is apparently an authority figure of some sort at this school and seems to be having elaborate fantasies about the underage boys there? There are tons of shirtless shots and I don't know what to say about the glowing eyes. O, overly-dramatic music videos. This music video is the equivalent of the poetry that middle-schoolers write when they are trying to be insightful that consists of them just listing every emotion they have ever felt.
Here is a music video that is mildly scarring. The darkness has decided to let you know that they "believe in a thing called love". I do sincerely apologize if any of you require therapy afterward. But I still think it is funny.
Battling space crabs with disembodied singing heads in the background? A vastly over-estimated sex appeal? A furry towel-creature? Mannequins in compromising positions? Space-squids? I don't even know. They must have been having some kind of fun when they made this thing. Or been some kind of high. Maybe both.
I am going to veer into nostalgia territory. I both apologize and submit a "you are welcome" for the following videos.
First, the backstreet boys would like to rock your body. And they feel that the most effective way to do this is with bad acting, thriller-mimicking, and transformations into various halloween-type creatures.
I love all the ridiculousness of this video. I love that there are random mummy-girls and the terrible facial expressions and cheesy dancing. I love the truly terrible acting at the beginning and the end. I even love the awful nineties clothes they are wearing at the beginning. O, backstreet boys. This music video does, indeed, rock my body.
For good measure, I am going to throw in the larger than life video. They like doing the costume thing. How nice would it be if things really had gone all futuristic at the year 2000? I want a hovercraft-surfboard. For real.
While we are on the subject of boy bands, I will be bringing up n*sync. I was not sure whether their little puppet video was funnier or the one when they are ken dolls. So I just posted both.
Both ridiculous. Both hilarious. And I thought both were totally awesome when I was younger.
Also, the second one does a great job of teaching us that important life lesson: Barbies are evil. And they will ruin your life.
To cap off this blog of just terrible nostalgia, I am posting Britney Spears. I give unto you: the ridiculous (and oddly prophetic) "lucky", "oops, I did it again" (how does she get into that body suit?), AND the song that gave boys everywhere an inappropriate school-girl fetish, "hit me baby one more time".
You guys are so welcome. You are also welcome to judge me for the things I find entertaining.
Rock on.
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