...no, seriously, do you?
I have been feeling some lingering and persistent college nostalgia lately. Don't get me wrong, life now is great. It's just that I start remembering being around all of my friends and the constant activities and that heady mix of being an independent "adult" and still having so few real-world responsibilities. Man, that was nice.
But I have been wondering lately if I am remembering college as it actually was or if I am idealizing it and making myself all achy for it for no reason. Therefore, in typical me-fashion, we will be making a list. And by "we" I mean "me". Just to clarify. "Me" will be making a list.
My grammar-loving self just cringed at that last sentence. O well. I am leaving it.
Comparisons!!! Here we go.
Stress level:
College - Ok, college was mad stressful. Mostly due to that whole homework thing (minor issue, I know). And studying for all those tests drove me nuts. I am not good at studying (I offer a belated apology to all the boys in second west in arend. I practically lived in your study room and I am sure you could hear my sounds of frustration echoing down your hall). Another stress-factor was picking a major early-on and then feeling like the clock was constantly running down on making huge life choices. Luckily, this whole process was exacerbated by every advisor, professor, and random adult constantly asking, "So, what are you going to do after college?" I eventually started wavering between completely making things up ("O, I am going to the Hague. They requested that I be the youngest crimes against humanity prosecutor ever.") or descending into weepy hysterics ("My life is just spinning out of control and there is nothing at the end of it and I am going to die alone and pointleeeeeeaaaah.....). Crazy.
Now - Well, I still feel like the clock is constantly running down on making huge life choices, but I don't think that will ever go away. Uncertainty is likely to be my constant companion. I guess we stress a bit about money for Tyler's school and rent and food and such, but we are in pretty good shape on that front (go Winco!). I stressed about getting a job for a while (thank you, economy, for being in a slump right as I graduate), but I have one now so that is over. The little day-to-day stresses about relationships and life in general are always present, so they don't really count.
Winner: College. Pretty sure that it was crazy stressful. Thank God for those free counseling sessions.
Housing:
College - Dorm life was awesome. So fun. My dorm was this overwhelmingly odd and tight-knit group of people who were so trusting that we often left our room doors open just so people could come by and visit (several off-campus thieves took advantage of this). We had dorm activities every night and organized plenty of our own activities (day-long star-wars-and-pizza marathon? GTA with screaming spectators? poker tournaments? movie nights? midnight sprinkler-running? dang, we were awesome). The easy proximity to food was a wonderful thing and it was quick getting to any of my classes. And, seriously, I don't think I will ever again live somewhere that is cleaned for me. I never scrubbed a toilet or even vacuumed my room (wait...that may have been a mistake). I loved having a small theater, a pool table, a piano, and a huge kitchen around as well. I lived with all of my friends so I had to make almost less than no effort to be social. There were issues with the lack of privacy with the whole roommate thing and the communal bathrooms, but that is not too hard to get used to (and participating in P.E. in high school made the communal bathroom a breeze). I did have to get creative hiding my food deep in the dorm fridge, though. I disguised my ice cream so well, it was crazy.
Now - I do have to clean my apartment, but I have my own space to retreat to when I am approaching the breaking point of my ability to interact with others (also known as "attack" mode). I can fit all my stuff there, my food is not stolen from my fridge (well, only by Tyler, but that doesn't count), and it is located near some of our Pullman-buddies. Of course, being social will never again be as easy as it was in college, but it would be weird to still have random people popping by the apartment whenever they were trying to avoid homework.
Winner: Shoot. This may be a draw. I love having space, but the dorm was tight. Eh, dorm wins.
Food:
College - Between the cafeteria and the cafe, I was pretty set. Sure, some of the food was unfortunate and we may have wept tears of joy every time it was french dip day, but it was plentiful and all we had to do was grab it (no clean-up! huzzah!). Pre-paid meal plans are wonderful things.
Now - I get to learn to make food! My attempts may be slow, but my food is gradually becoming actually recognizable as something edible. It's a big deal. There is always something to eat (so good for late-night munchies) and it is much easier to eat healthy now that we make our own meals. Well, it's also easy to stock our freezer with frozen pizzas and ice cream, but we only do that sometimes. And we have learned to eat cheaply. And that is great.
Winner: Now wins, hands down. I have an awesome chef cooking for me all the time. Victory.
Social life:
College - Oklongboard, encouraged me to do ridiculous and crazy things with them, got me mildly high off energy drinks, and contributed to some of the best moments of my life. My tiny family was easy to hang out with, easy to find, and there was always someone willing to spend time with me when I wanted to. So awesome.
Now - My tiny family has scattered, as tiny college families are wont to do. Not only do we not live in the same neighborhood any more, we don't even all live on the same continent any more. This is sad. However, I have gotten lucky by being allowed into a fabulous community of completely insane grad students and we have done some wonderful things and some incredibly nerdy things together. Who else would I play Indiana Jones monopoly with as ol' indy runs from boulders on the tv behind us? I still am unclear about what that "wrath of cthulu" game we played was called, but it was totally awesome. And, wow, do these people make intelligent comments. Luckily, when I can't follow, I find that sarcasm is a perfect addition to the conversation.
Winner: I think these situations may be too different to compare. College was easier and I knew all those folks for longer, but these people are wonderful. Meh.
I think that in conclusion I will say that college was great and of course I miss it. But now is pretty great as well.
Wow, that was a lame conclusion. Quick, think of something funny...
I ate deep-fried pickles last night.
3.21.2011
two roads diverged in a wood and I...
I wandered completely away from the roads and got lost.
But lost seems to have a negative connotation and that is not what I mean at all. I got wonderfully, fabulously, hopelessly turned around until I realized that roads are boring and I like doing my own thing anyway. It is much more fun.
This off-road train of thought was prompted by a reconnection with a friend from high school (facebook is occasionally great for nostalgia). We exchanged the inevitable chit-chat that always involves, "So, what are you up to now?" This question always takes me back to the last time I saw that person and what I thought I would be up to at that point. When I was graduating high school, what did I think I would be doing at age twenty-two? I mean, at the time I thought twenty-two was decidedly adult-aged and that is just untrue.
Well, I thought I would be graduated from college (success!) at or near the top of my class with some appropriately impressive major (um...well...). I thought I would be off in some exciting new city (uh...how do you define exciting? or...city?) pursuing some either highly or decently-paying job that was a perfect mix of usefulness, bragging rights, and awesomeness. Perhaps as some golden-child rookie journalist covering world affairs and oppressed people, or a U.N. worker with a vaguely-defined but indispensible function. Maybe an appropriately humble musician dedicating a portion of profits to charities or an invaluable assistant to some diplomat or aid worker...or famous person. I am shallow sometimes (and I did such a great job of hiding it!). Also, my job is none of those things. My job serves the function of paying for my rent and that is all I need at the moment (because of my big plans to move to somewhere new! And...and exotic! With a great and fulfilling occupational and/or educational opportunity! This will happen!).
Life is not what you expect. Ever. If I could teach one thing to my sisters (ok, one of many things), it would be that little lesson. Despite what I seemed to think going into college, life consistently turned out nothing like what I planned and that ended up making it pretty wonderful. This is going to descend into a compare-and-contrast list form eventually, I just know it. I will do that now and end the suspense.
Major: I started college considering majors in english, journalism/communications, and possibly music. I majored in none of those things. I didn't even minor in any of them. I graduated college with a degree in Peace Studies (it's a branch of international political science, ok?) and minors in philosophy and theology. It turns out that things that interest you are not always things that will get you a job. This is ok as long as you also are able to figure out some sort of compromise that you can live with: a job you want, but not a paycheck you want, or a life-sustaining paycheck, but from a job you care little to not at all about. Part of being a partially grown-up being is learning that every time you shift your life is not "selling out". Sometimes, it is just being realistic.
Also, I was not academically at the top of my class. Sure, I did a decent job. Perfectly respectable. But that 4.0 GPA? It was determined that was not happening after my first semester of college. I got over it. I found a balance between studying and having a social life. I had fun. And I eventually made the connection that doing well in high school does not mean doing equally as well in college.
Career: I still want to do something big and I still am stuck with a (potentially delusional) idea that I will eventually find a job I absolutely love that pays me enough to live on. However, I am currently working in a dental office where I check insurance. Not what I wanted to do at all, but the job pays well, has good hours and benefits, and lets me work in a very laid-back environment with incredibly nice people. For now, I am lucky.
But I still totally plan on disappearing into an envious job. Possibly on another continent. Eventually.
Location: I expected to be living in a city somewhere. Maybe New York, or Boston, or Washington D.C., or Seattle, or Portland. Somewhere big and exciting and new with tons of job opportunities. Instead, I am living in Pullman, WA. This is a town larger than my hometown of 5,000 only when school is in session. It is small and peopled with frat children.
Don't get me wrong, it is not without its charms. But if I find myself still living here in five years, I will have to seriously re-examine my life. However, this is only two years of my life spent in a town that was unexpected to me, but not something I dislike. And living here is totally worth probably the most unexpected part of my current life...
Relationships: I am married. At twenty-two. Really? It's still strange even to me and I carefully thought about it for a long time and have been living it for several months. I never really thought about relationships. I dated once in high school and, while an enjoyable experience, it led me to the conclusion that I liked dating and being single pretty much equally. I liked being on my own. My high school girl friends and I (Taylor, Michelle, and Jessie, I am talking about you) joked about our different dating personalities and tendencies in high school and if I remember correctly, we decided I would probably get married last because I could totally take it or leave it. Being married would be cool, but so would staying single. We may have guessed incorrectly.
I dated a couple times in college and then ended up in a long-term marriage-type relationship my junior year. The lone-wolf mentality did not hold out. I have never been more pleased to be proven wrong. Even at the times when I freak out about being married and being young and clueless about most of my life, I have the coolest marriage and the best husband and pretty much the most fun I've ever had. It is awesome. Damn, I got lucky.
Life is messy. And confusing. And insanely unpredictable. But thank God my life has not turned out the way I thought it would. My imagination was a strange combination of presumptuous and boring.
So, conclusion: ditch the road and get lost. It's great.
But lost seems to have a negative connotation and that is not what I mean at all. I got wonderfully, fabulously, hopelessly turned around until I realized that roads are boring and I like doing my own thing anyway. It is much more fun.
This off-road train of thought was prompted by a reconnection with a friend from high school (facebook is occasionally great for nostalgia). We exchanged the inevitable chit-chat that always involves, "So, what are you up to now?" This question always takes me back to the last time I saw that person and what I thought I would be up to at that point. When I was graduating high school, what did I think I would be doing at age twenty-two? I mean, at the time I thought twenty-two was decidedly adult-aged and that is just untrue.
How I saw anyone over the age of twenty.
Well, I thought I would be graduated from college (success!) at or near the top of my class with some appropriately impressive major (um...well...). I thought I would be off in some exciting new city (uh...how do you define exciting? or...city?) pursuing some either highly or decently-paying job that was a perfect mix of usefulness, bragging rights, and awesomeness. Perhaps as some golden-child rookie journalist covering world affairs and oppressed people, or a U.N. worker with a vaguely-defined but indispensible function. Maybe an appropriately humble musician dedicating a portion of profits to charities or an invaluable assistant to some diplomat or aid worker...or famous person. I am shallow sometimes (and I did such a great job of hiding it!). Also, my job is none of those things. My job serves the function of paying for my rent and that is all I need at the moment (because of my big plans to move to somewhere new! And...and exotic! With a great and fulfilling occupational and/or educational opportunity! This will happen!).
Life is not what you expect. Ever. If I could teach one thing to my sisters (ok, one of many things), it would be that little lesson. Despite what I seemed to think going into college, life consistently turned out nothing like what I planned and that ended up making it pretty wonderful. This is going to descend into a compare-and-contrast list form eventually, I just know it. I will do that now and end the suspense.
Major: I started college considering majors in english, journalism/communications, and possibly music. I majored in none of those things. I didn't even minor in any of them. I graduated college with a degree in Peace Studies (it's a branch of international political science, ok?) and minors in philosophy and theology. It turns out that things that interest you are not always things that will get you a job. This is ok as long as you also are able to figure out some sort of compromise that you can live with: a job you want, but not a paycheck you want, or a life-sustaining paycheck, but from a job you care little to not at all about. Part of being a partially grown-up being is learning that every time you shift your life is not "selling out". Sometimes, it is just being realistic.
This was not my major.
This, plus some under-eye circles and papers, was my major.
Also, I was not academically at the top of my class. Sure, I did a decent job. Perfectly respectable. But that 4.0 GPA? It was determined that was not happening after my first semester of college. I got over it. I found a balance between studying and having a social life. I had fun. And I eventually made the connection that doing well in high school does not mean doing equally as well in college.
Career: I still want to do something big and I still am stuck with a (potentially delusional) idea that I will eventually find a job I absolutely love that pays me enough to live on. However, I am currently working in a dental office where I check insurance. Not what I wanted to do at all, but the job pays well, has good hours and benefits, and lets me work in a very laid-back environment with incredibly nice people. For now, I am lucky.
But I still totally plan on disappearing into an envious job. Possibly on another continent. Eventually.
Beware, Bourdain. I am plotting ways to get your job.
Location: I expected to be living in a city somewhere. Maybe New York, or Boston, or Washington D.C., or Seattle, or Portland. Somewhere big and exciting and new with tons of job opportunities. Instead, I am living in Pullman, WA. This is a town larger than my hometown of 5,000 only when school is in session. It is small and peopled with frat children.
Not pictured: brain function or basic social mores
Don't get me wrong, it is not without its charms. But if I find myself still living here in five years, I will have to seriously re-examine my life. However, this is only two years of my life spent in a town that was unexpected to me, but not something I dislike. And living here is totally worth probably the most unexpected part of my current life...
Relationships: I am married. At twenty-two. Really? It's still strange even to me and I carefully thought about it for a long time and have been living it for several months. I never really thought about relationships. I dated once in high school and, while an enjoyable experience, it led me to the conclusion that I liked dating and being single pretty much equally. I liked being on my own. My high school girl friends and I (Taylor, Michelle, and Jessie, I am talking about you) joked about our different dating personalities and tendencies in high school and if I remember correctly, we decided I would probably get married last because I could totally take it or leave it. Being married would be cool, but so would staying single. We may have guessed incorrectly.
I dated a couple times in college and then ended up in a long-term marriage-type relationship my junior year. The lone-wolf mentality did not hold out. I have never been more pleased to be proven wrong. Even at the times when I freak out about being married and being young and clueless about most of my life, I have the coolest marriage and the best husband and pretty much the most fun I've ever had. It is awesome. Damn, I got lucky.
Life is messy. And confusing. And insanely unpredictable. But thank God my life has not turned out the way I thought it would. My imagination was a strange combination of presumptuous and boring.
So, conclusion: ditch the road and get lost. It's great.
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